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Last weekend was my four year anniversary with my partner so I decided we should go to Charleston, SC for a quick get away. I found a decent hotel called the North Charleston Inn which had the best rates but was about 5 miles from downtown.  The price was right and the rooms were clean and even had WiFi.

The skies were sunny and the historic downtown was bustling with stylish, friendly people.  It was almost like a slice of SOHO NYC with art galleries and high end shopping everywhere. We walked on the waterfront and stopped at an Irish pub for a beer and a snack. 

Before we left for Charleston,  I booked a graveyard ghost tour with Bulldog Tours which began at 9:30 pm. The ghost tour took us through some old cemeteries with our guide providing spooky, entertaining and informative histories about the ghosts and cemeteries. 

The ghost tour ended at 12 midnight so we scrambled to find a place to eat and surprisingly found a bar/restaurant called Marcato on Market street.  The restaurant had a cool, stylish feel with a female jazz singer crooning  in the background . I ordered pasta bolognese and  my partner decided on a pepperoni pizza. Both of the dishes were excellent probably due to their choice of aged cheeses in the recipe plus I had the  best dirty martini ever. I will definitely be back.

After dinner we stopped  by a dessert bar called Kaminsky’s  and ordered a big slice of chocolate cake with coffee. Even though I was quite full from our tasty dinner I still managed to eat the rich, chocolate saturated cake with a big smile on my face.

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Scouring the Internet for resources on meditation, I found this site http://www.meditationsociety.com/. It is a free site that promotes the virtues of meditation and includes many different modalities.  A great resource for beginners or even someone more experienced as I had not heard of some of the other techniques mentioned. You can print their free newsletter to get an idea of the different types of meditation.

I actually had someone tell me that meditation was not christian and that it involved praying to Buddha or some god. This could not be farther from the truth and is an outright lie perpetuated by ignorant people. When you meditate you are clearing your mind of the the everyday junk and focusing on a single thought, image, idea, etc. That idea can be anything you want or even total emptiness.  If you are Christian, a good meditation might be to focus on some of the teachings of Jesus, or a line from the bible. Anything that helps your mind stop it’s internal chatter will help. Some people say the word “one” or “love” over and over in their heads. Others might visualize a tropical island, or even heaven. Don’t let others scare you from finding inner peace…  don’t let someone else’s mind be your limitation.

For those of you who have not seen ”The Secret”, it is a very empowering movie that focuses on the idea that our minds create our reality in the physical world. .. or as they say in the movie “thoughts are things“.  ”The Secret” focuses on the “Law of Attraction” which says that what we think about effects our emotions, which in turn effects what we attract to us.

If you are negative you will attract more negative events to you, but if you generate feelings of joy and gratitude, you will attract positive events and things in your life.        

Easier said than done… However, watch the movie several times until it “sinks in” If anything, it has helped me learn to take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. . . and that’s not a bad thing. 
You can buy the Secret book or DVD at the vuvee.com online store.

Here is a 20 minute preview of the “The Secret” :

I recently stumbled upon a site called healingwheel.com which has some nice affirmations that you can use everyday to help. The site is Flash based and should load pretty quickly. They also have a download section with music only, guided meditations and video.  I bookmarked the site and will go back frequently when I need a quick pick me up.

This Sunday I attended a Healing Circle at the Center for Positive Living in Charlotte. The healing circle involves several people using their gifts (Reiki, Quantum Touch, etc) to heal others. I enjoyed the healing and actually felt better but what really left a lasting impression was the meditation afterward.

We paired off and held our hand near our partner’s heart and sent the intention of love to the person sitting across from us. Essentially, we repeated and meditated ”I love you” in our heads and directed this thought to the other person. After the meditation, I immediately felt a deeper connection to this total stranger. It later occured to me that if we could practice this meditation toward everyone we meet, we might be able to change the world…

Ok, maybe I am being overly idealistic but…

That night I went home and sat with my partner and we repeated this meditation and afterwards we both felt closer to other than we have in the last couple of years.

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When I was younger I used to be painfully shy. I distinctly remember hiding when new people came over the house and feeling a genuine sense of anxiety and fear. As a teenager, my shyness  got so bad that I could not even order a pizza without  stumbling over my words and feeling embarrassment.  I almost never looked anyone in the eye.  Even today I still feel anxious when I meet new people . Over the years I have learned certain coping skills and here is a short  list of what has helped me.  I realize there is no quick fix but if you take the time to think about each of these and try to apply them in your life it may help. I highlighted the ones that have helped me the most. 

1. Love yourself
2. Have a positive attitude
3. Take a genuine interest in other people
4. Help others
5. Meditate
6. Take risks
7. Don’t be so hard on yourself
8. Be honest with yourself
9. Relax

Recently, trapped in five o’clock Charlotte traffic I found myself behind a car with the bumper sticker that read “My country invaded Iraq and all I got was expensive gas”.  I chuckled at first and then began to think how many people’s lives have been lost to the Iraqi war.

Here we are complaining about gas prices (which still aren’t that bad compared to the rest of the world) while innocent civilians and soldiers are being killed and maimed in the name of freedom.

Right now we all need to appreciate what we have, stop our whining , and do something nice for someone less fortunate or more fortunate… anyone.  The actions we do to help others are additive, addictive, and contagious and will eventually change the world.

I recently read some promising articles on Transcendental Meditation® and did some research on the web. I found out the classes are close to $2500 and there is much controversy surrounding the organization. Upon searching further, I found a site called Natural Stress Relief® which uses some of the same concepts of TM for about $25 without any religious overtones ie. you don’t have to believe in anything. For $25 you get a downloadable ebook and a sound file with no email assistance.

I followed the instructions to the tee and read the book before listening to the sound file. You only need to listen to the sound file once as an example of what you have to do. Basically, you are asked to repeat a sound or mantra over and over in your head (not out loud) for 15 minutes twice per day.

You then record how you feel after each session with the included forms. Apparently, by repeating the mantra over and over you are causing your mind to focus on this word blocking out all the junk that is constantly running through your head.

I really didn’t expect much from this technique but was surprised that at the end of 15 minutes I actually felt more relaxed and calm. It was not easy, as thoughts like “this is stupid” or “I wonder if the Simpson’s is coming on” kept running through my head. However, as long as I continued to repeat the word I noticed that all the mental dust seemed clear itself out like a Swiffer on a hardwood floor. I will continue to practice the Natural Stress Relief technique for a month and report back my results.

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Vegetarian Warning: DO NOT READ.

Anyone living in Charlotte for longer than ten years probably still remembers Spoon’s restaurant and their juicy hamburgers. Of course, I can’t eat food like that very often but when I do I usually just grill a hamburger at home.

I recently found a place called Five Guys in Concord (they have 4 locations in Charlotte) that serve hamburgers, which according to their placard covered window, are rated highly by Zagat.

So in I went… the utilitarian interior was nothing to write home about with magazine reviews posted all over the walls. I thought this place better be good considering how much positive press they have received.

I ordered a regular hamburger with all the toppings but without the fries (which looked very good)… I waited about 5 minutes and they called my number. I was surprised to get a generous burger with two patties . This was no prissy burger.

My hamburger was juicy and had a nice beef flavor that had me smiling from ear to ear. This was the reincarnation of the Spoon’s hamburger. This time it came back a little better. That’s what good Karma does.

My new somewhat close to home favorite greasy hamburger place.

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I have been practicing the Science of  Mind stuff for several months since I discovered the Center for Positive Living in Charlotte.  I am seeing events in my life that I used to shrug off as coincidence but now I am starting to believe that I actually may be manifesting these events through my thoughts and intentions.

For example, a couple of days ago I was walking my dog and was feeling lonely and really wanted to talk to someone.  It was night and the moon was diffused by the clouds creeping overhead. I decided to lay in the cool grass (which I  never do) and just enjoy the moment viewing the moon through the leafless trees.  As I got up to leave, I heard a voice from across the street yelling “do you know where the Buddhist center is located”. 
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I recently found out a friend of mine is a recovered crystal meth addict. I was in shock that this seemingly perfect person with two wonderful children could have ever been is such a desperate state. Apparently, he was able to hide his addiction until it began to interfere with his job and life.

What brought him to this? Is this simply an addiction to a drug or is there more below the surface. Upon deeper analysis I found out that like most of us, loneliness and self-hatred are the root causes of this or any destructive addictions. I now realize that we as gay men and women need to reach out to each other in a non-judgmental way and say that who we are is OK and that we are all perfect manifestations of God.

My friend is now helping others overcome their crystal meth addictions.

“Some people walk on water Some people walk on broken glass Some just walk round and round in their dreams Some just keep falling down. So when you see a man who’s broken Pick him up and carry him And when you see a woman who’s broken Put her all into your arms Cause we don’t know where we come from We don’t know what we are.”-Laurie Anderson

I was looking through some baby photos and found this picture of Johnny Whitaker (Jody) from the 60’s TV show “Family Affair” and myself at “Tweetsie Railroad”. My first reaction was shock at the hideous one piece outfit I was wearing!! My mom used to make our clothing and I think she may have gone too far with this one.  I wonder what my mom was thinking when she made that outfit? Maybe she thought the gay sailor look was appropriate for me. I need to ask her.

I noticed the man and woman in the background are smiling. I wonder what they are smiling at? Hmmm…