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For those of you who have not seen ”The Secret”, it is a very empowering movie that focuses on the idea that our minds create our reality in the physical world. .. or as they say in the movie “thoughts are things“.  ”The Secret” focuses on the “Law of Attraction” which says that what we think about effects our emotions, which in turn effects what we attract to us.

If you are negative you will attract more negative events to you, but if you generate feelings of joy and gratitude, you will attract positive events and things in your life.        

Easier said than done… However, watch the movie several times until it “sinks in” If anything, it has helped me learn to take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. . . and that’s not a bad thing. 
You can buy the Secret book or DVD at the vuvee.com online store.

Here is a 20 minute preview of the “The Secret” :

This Sunday I attended a Healing Circle at the Center for Positive Living in Charlotte. The healing circle involves several people using their gifts (Reiki, Quantum Touch, etc) to heal others. I enjoyed the healing and actually felt better but what really left a lasting impression was the meditation afterward.

We paired off and held our hand near our partner’s heart and sent the intention of love to the person sitting across from us. Essentially, we repeated and meditated ”I love you” in our heads and directed this thought to the other person. After the meditation, I immediately felt a deeper connection to this total stranger. It later occured to me that if we could practice this meditation toward everyone we meet, we might be able to change the world…

Ok, maybe I am being overly idealistic but…

That night I went home and sat with my partner and we repeated this meditation and afterwards we both felt closer to other than we have in the last couple of years.

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When I was younger I used to be painfully shy. I distinctly remember hiding when new people came over the house and feeling a genuine sense of anxiety and fear. As a teenager, my shyness  got so bad that I could not even order a pizza without  stumbling over my words and feeling embarrassment.  I almost never looked anyone in the eye.  Even today I still feel anxious when I meet new people . Over the years I have learned certain coping skills and here is a short  list of what has helped me.  I realize there is no quick fix but if you take the time to think about each of these and try to apply them in your life it may help. I highlighted the ones that have helped me the most. 

1. Love yourself
2. Have a positive attitude
3. Take a genuine interest in other people
4. Help others
5. Meditate
6. Take risks
7. Don’t be so hard on yourself
8. Be honest with yourself
9. Relax

I recently found out a friend of mine is a recovered crystal meth addict. I was in shock that this seemingly perfect person with two wonderful children could have ever been is such a desperate state. Apparently, he was able to hide his addiction until it began to interfere with his job and life.

What brought him to this? Is this simply an addiction to a drug or is there more below the surface. Upon deeper analysis I found out that like most of us, loneliness and self-hatred are the root causes of this or any destructive addictions. I now realize that we as gay men and women need to reach out to each other in a non-judgmental way and say that who we are is OK and that we are all perfect manifestations of God.

My friend is now helping others overcome their crystal meth addictions.

“Some people walk on water Some people walk on broken glass Some just walk round and round in their dreams Some just keep falling down. So when you see a man who’s broken Pick him up and carry him And when you see a woman who’s broken Put her all into your arms Cause we don’t know where we come from We don’t know what we are.”-Laurie Anderson

I was looking through some baby photos and found this picture of Johnny Whitaker (Jody) from the 60’s TV show “Family Affair” and myself at “Tweetsie Railroad”. My first reaction was shock at the hideous one piece outfit I was wearing!! My mom used to make our clothing and I think she may have gone too far with this one.  I wonder what my mom was thinking when she made that outfit? Maybe she thought the gay sailor look was appropriate for me. I need to ask her.

I noticed the man and woman in the background are smiling. I wonder what they are smiling at? Hmmm…

I have always wanted to create music. So I decided to learn how to play the Didgeridoo and the Native American flute. Both instruments are supposed to be somewhat easy to play and allow for a free-form style of music.

I chose the Didgeridoo because the sound of this Australian instrument is very haunting and strangely beautiful. Apparently, the Didgeridoo is one of the oldest in the world dating back 2,000 or more years. I placed an order for a reasonably priced bamboo Didgeridoo from Laoutback which has a good reputation in the industry. It is supposed to arrive today and I am very excited. I guess I will have to learn circular breathing.

I recently attended a Sunday service at the Center for Positive Living in Charlotte and they incorporated a native American flute in the service. The sound was so beautiful and seemed to resonate with me in every way. Anyway, I ordered a Butch Hall flute from Grand Canyon flutes which should arrive next week.

It is a nice feeling to actually begin the transition from being a passive listener of music to a potential creator.

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Where I work the only parking spaces available are under a canopy of trees. This usually means my car is covered with bird poop and leaves by the end of the day. Every time I head toward the parking lot, I get a little more annoyed at the trees wishing someone would cut them down.

One day as was walking to my car, I looked at the ground and noticed there were pecans everywhere. The trees that I have been pissed at for the last 4 months were actually pecan trees. I greedily snatched a handful of the pecans from the ground and ate them with my lunch that day.

Suddenly, it dawned on me that the trees that had so annoyed me were providing me with a a delicious pecan treat. (I love pecans). So now when I leave work, instead of focusing on the mess the trees deposits on my car I think about what the trees have given to me and feel a sense of appreciation and gratitude… 

…This might not work if you don’t like pecans.

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After our malamutation experience, my partner and I decided to look for a reputable breeder in Alaskan Malamute breeder in NC. We decided on a breeder in Lexington, NC called “Yount’s Malamutes” . We drove about 60 miles to a somewhat rural area in Lexington ( I really wanted to eat some of the area’s famous barbecue). When we arrived, I noticed five pens with various sized Malamute’s. A teenager greeted us and proceeded to show us the various pups that were available. All of them were cute and I held one of the gray and white female pups. She immediately clung to my chest and I could feel her warmth through my shirt. I felt relaxed and at peace holding the sweet little puppy…. then she started looking hungrily at my nipples.

Anyway,  we decided on a white and grey mask pup from the smaller and calmer mom and dad. We put a deposit down on the pup and were told it would be six weeks before we could pick her up since she was still too young.

An older man arrived in his car and introduced himself as the breeder and explained that all his dogs are descended from champion dog-pulling blood lines with 26 years of records to prove their origin. He was very knowlegable about the breed and his dogs and I could see he really loved breeding them. This was no puppy mill.

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My partner and I decided we wanted to look for a dog to replace Tank (our previous dog). We had been searching for a while and decided on an Alaskan Malamute. One of my colleagues has a beautiful female that he adores. So, I went on the Internet (go figure) to read up on the breed and where I could find a breeder in NC.

After a couple of weeks I realized there were not that many breeders in my area and the cost of the pups was going to be anywhere from $600 to $800. Needless to say, my enthusiasm waned. On Sunday , I went to my local newspaper to check out the pets for sale section. I immediately noticed an ad ” ALASKAN MALAMUTE — Pups, full blooded. Great price”. Read more

I got a call on Saturday from my Dad saying my mother was in the hospital for heart failure. Apparently, fluid was building up in her body because her heart was not pumping correctly. I asked to speak to her and she sounded weak but in good spirits.

My mom has lived with an artificial heart valve for years and has always been adventurous and outgoing, never stopping to worry about her health problems. She works out at the gym and is a  member of the Red Hat Society. I went to see her the next day and she looked good. The Doctor informed us she would be out in three days and they would have to increase her medication.

My mom is an example of how people should live their lives. She is an explorer of both spirit and mind never afraid to seek information from non-traditional sources. (She is a Silva method graduate).

I love her and know she will recover fully and resume her path of self-discovery and selfless giving to others. I think if I could be a more like her I would be a happier person..

After reading good things about how Yoga can reduce blood pressure and help with flexibility, I decided to take a Yoga class at the YMCA. I ventured to Wal-Mart and purchased the ubiquitous purple yoga mat.

The class began with a period of calm relaxation with us on our backs and eyes closed. The instructor, a friendly younger woman then instructed us to get into a down dog pose- A what pose?!  Anyway, I followed her closely and realized that this was much harder than I thought. I felt like an awkward doofus trying to follow the poses .The instructor quickly pointed out (after seeing my contorted versions of her poses) that Yoga is about non-judgment and not to worry about what others were thinking….

So, I tried to forgot myself and actually had a decent workout that revealed how inflexible I am.

The class ended with a final OM chant with the instructor saying  ”Namaste”( I bow to you- a gesture of respect).

It was a very nice ending to a challenging stress relieving class. 

I decided to start getting up early (5:30AM) to take a Spin Class at the YMCA.  Well, I did not know what to expect but I went anyway (change is not easy for me). I stumbled into class half asleep but was quickly awoken by loud rock music and sweaty bodies.  Ignoring the absurdity of it all, I jumped on a free bike and focused on the sinuous instructor as she pedaled her bike and barked the instructions to us… “get up, increase resistance, sit down, stand up..etc..”

Well, by the end of classes I was a sweating pig and I loved every minute. I felt so alive and alert after the class that I decided right then I would do this every day. To hell with the elliptical machine, this spin class rocks!!

UPDATE: 4/16/07. I had to quit the Spin Classes due to damage to my pudendal nerve caused by the bike seats.