Living in the present: to the extreme
Since I started reading Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now”, a book that teaches us to live in the NOW instead of the past or future, I am trying to become fully present in my daily activities. According to Tolle, by living in the present moment we can overcome the cause of many of our sufferings and eventually find inner peace…
Let’s face it, I eat way too fast and wolf down my dinner before everyone else. I am often told I need to slow down but I usually brush it aside. However, this really is a sign that I am having problems living in the present. Heck.. many times I can’t even tell you what I ate because I was thinking about a past or future event instead of being fully present with my meal…
…But, can anyone really live in the present all the time and function in society. After reading “The Power of Now”, I found a video about a brain damaged man who is forced to live in the present. The first clip below is from a TV documentary and features Clive Wearing , a man who only has 10-30 seconds of memory-living in the present to the extreme! I thought it was sad and fascinating at the same time…
Conversely, I found a video about a woman who cannot forget the past and remembers everything eventful in her life including the good and mostly the bad. In both cases, there is great suffering and I think finding the middle ground of being present when necessary probably suits me the best. The question is knowing when to be fully present…
Paying Attention by Dogo Barry Graham
Some people will do anything to escape the reality of their lives. With some, it’s drugs. With others, it’s identity, whether they identify with a belief or an activity or a relationship. I see the latter a lot – frightened egos trying to turn a relationship into a fortress.
Look at the person you love most, and remember: they are going to die. So are you. No matter how happy you are together, how much you love each other – and how much you identify with the relationship – it is going to end. What then?
Let me respectfully remind you:
Life and death are of supreme importance.
Time swiftly passes and opportunity is lost.
Awaken! Awaken! Take heed;
Do not squander your life.
About the Author:
Dogo Barry Graham is a Zen Buddhist monk, a social activist and a writer, and the Abbot of The Sitting Frog Zen Sangha. He has written articles for national magazines, including Harper’s, Flaunt and Parabola and his poetry has been published in magazines and anthologies. He has taught Zen in jails, homeless shelters and community centers, and has witnessed two executions in Florence, Arizona, each time at the invitation of the prisoner, not the state. In Arizona and Tennessee, he has worked to stop police brutality and gang violence. He sees Zen practice and social activism as being inseparable. You can read more at his blog “The Urban Monk” .
Let It Rain by Dogo Barry Graham
Thinking about an email I received from a friend. After telling me the problems that some people close to us are having, my friend said, “Life is bumpy, isn’t it?”
I replied that there is no reason that life shouldn’t be bumpy. Our suffering is not caused by the fact that life is hard, but by our belief that it should be easy. When we accept life as it is, without comparing it to how we think it ought to be, then there’s no source of suffering.
I have a friend who spent more than ten years in prison. He told me that he was still more free than most of the people he knew outside of prison, because he had decided that he was going to live his life as it was, where it was, while most of his friends on the outside created a prison for themselves by constantly wanting life to be something other than what it is.
This man didn’t like being in prison – he hated it, of course – but he refused to let being incarcerated keep him from being happy. He had to stop attaching to his preferences, his likes and dislikes, and simply be present – and when he was able to do that, he was able to find joy in whatever the day brought.
This is true of all of us. When I consider any of my own suffering, I realize that other people never caused me to suffer, and neither did the circumstances of my life. I caused me to suffer. I did it by wanting people to be different, rather than accepting them as they were. I did it by wanting circumstances and situations to be different. I did it by wanting life to be easy when it wasn’t. And, sometimes, even when life was easier than it might have been, I still suffered because I wanted it to be different – or, as I thought, better. And then I blamed the other person or the circumstances for making me suffer.
Safety in my Snuggie?
If you watch any TV you’ve probably seen the ubiquitous commercials for the Snuggie™- A blanket with sleeves. In the infomercial you see attractive camera-ready men, women, and children blissfully smiling in their new found source of happiness.
Suddenly, conundrums like “how do I answer the phone under a blanket?” are solved with the Snuggie™. Life is perfect inside a Snuggie™- you never get cold and you save electricity to boot. What could be better…
Is this sense of safety an illusion and a distraction from the real problems in our lives? A cover from the barrage of negative news? The economy is tanking… get a Snuggie™, my cat just died… get a Snuggie™… I lost my job… get a Snuggie™…my Pedegg™ broke…get a Snuggie™.
Where does safety really reside?
Can we truly be happy cocooned in our Snuggie™ or should we accept the feelings of fear and inadequacy that arise in our lives by acknowledging them instead of pretending they don’t exist.
Awakening the Dreamer
A man trampled to death by a frenzied herd of WalMart shoppers!!
We have become MEGA Consumers attacking each other to get the latest flat screen TV.
The consumer mentality that pervades our entire culture is out of control. The Joneses can’t keep up with Joneses anymore. When will we get off the BUY NOW treadmill?
Does anything we purchase really bring us any lasting happiness or inner peace?
I recently attended an event called “Awakening the Dreamer” . The symposium was created by the Pachamama Alliance to bring awareness of our destruction and exploitation of the planet and it’s inhabitants.
From their website: Read the rest of this entry »
Relaxation and Meditation made easy
OK, I’ve had enough of the dire news on the TV, Radio, and Internet lately. The finger pointing and gloomy outlook just create more anxiety and fear.
I try to avoid watching TV, reading the paper and listening to the radio . Even better, I often use meditation CD’s or my mind machine (see earlier posts) to help me escape the constant barrage of bad news.
Now for the good news!
I created my first Meditation and relaxation recording/CD that you can use right now instead of turning on the TV or listening to the radio. Just click the play button below this post.
The 20 minute recording incorporates peaceful music with natural sounds and embedded brainwave entrainment tones. The binaural tones gently guide your brainwaves to a meditative Alpha state which will help reduce anxiety and relax your mind.
The Time Is Now
Last weekend I escaped to the Tennessee Mountains with a group of friends. We arrived four hours later, and I was surprised to see a beautiful two story pine cabin. The cabin, which was more like a luxury home, had large glass windows and a wooden spiral staircase with woven twigs for railing.
Firmly planted on the porch was a 6 foot hand carved wooden bear (the kind you see for sale off the highway) that we affectionately referred to as “Wesley bear” (also the name of the cabin).
As the night wore on, we put on some scary movies like “Descent” and the dated teen classic “Urban Legends”. It was 3AM and I decided to go to sleep. On my way to the bedroom, I noticed almost everyone was sleeping. The fireplace was glowing softly emitting a little click or pop every now and then. I jumped into the bed landing with a loud thud.. Damn! hard bed.. and fell into a deep effortless sleep….
Suddenly, I felt someone shaking me. I opened my sleep filled eyes and realized it was my partner. At first I did not hear a word, then I realized he was saying “the fireplace is on fire!”. I immediately thought… “yea, that’s what fireplaces are for”. As I rubbed my eyes again in frustration, It dawned on me what my partner was really saying… “Get up now!! The fireplace is on Fire!!!”
Break on through to the other side.
Well, I committed myself to a two month journey of self discovery and transformation called the Breakthrough Performance Workshop. The workshop is taught by a husband and wife team from California now residing in Charlotte, NC. The basis of the workshop is to use your voice to help overcome limitations and fears
I originally attended their weekend workshop which culminated with me singing in a live band in front of a small group of people. It was quite transformative but I felt I needed to push myself further by signing up for their 2 month workshop which ends with a live performance in front of a couple of HUNDRED people. (Yikes!!.. what have i got my self into!!)
As I am writing this, I am week six into the workshop. We meet every Thursday for practice and are assigned a new song each week until our group (8 people) and myself decide on a final song.
Who are we really?
My partner was recently outed at work by one of his co-workers. He was upset but outwardly appeared calm. For years, I had been telling him that he needed to confide in someone to help break free of the mental chains that have imprisoned him.
He was living a life of loneliness and fear at work. Even though he was popular and well liked, he somehow managed to avoid talking about his personal life for the last 3 years!!
The next day after being outed, he decided to tell one of his uninformed friends and to his surprise discovered that his co-worker was also gay. Go figure.
In the end we had a small gathering at my house with most of his friends. They were supportive and a little upset that he had kept an important part of his life from them. No big deal. Very anti-climactic.
Last year, I was playing with his 8 year old daughter (who visits every summer) and I jokingly mentioned that her dad and I were married. I was half expecting her think I was crazy.
She froze and pensively looked at me saying…”Finally!”
James Ray Harmonic Wealth Experience
I recently attended a free Harmonic Wealth© conference in Charlotte, NC hosted by James Ray of “The Secret” fame.
I arrived a little early to avoid the lines and crowds. When I arrived I was inundated by loud, annoying music and a toasty conference room full of chattering people.
I did not know what to expect and was curious to hear one of the “stars” from “The Secret”. My initial impressions were not good ( I tend to be pessimistic) and was ready to leave as soon as I walked in.
There were sign-up forms on all the chairs with an area for your credit card information. I could tell they were serious about getting people to commit to their weekend courses, Cd’s and videos.
James Ray finally came out after a brief bio by one of his staff. His credentials were impressive but that’s not why I came. I immediately thought that this was going to be a high pressure sales seminar masquerading as a motivational talk.
However, he surprised me by asking each of us to find someone in the room we did not know. We were then told to introduce ourselves as though we were good friends… which I did reluctantly…
Why Christians Practice Buddhism by E. Raymond Rock
Thomas Merton, famous Catholic monk belonging to the cloistered Trappist tradition (Order of Cistercians of the strict observance), once said that he wanted, “to become as good a Buddhist as I can.”
Before he converted to Catholicism at age twenty-three, he read about Christian mysticism. He read works such as Augustine’s “Confessions” and Thomas a Kempis’ “The Imitation of Christ,” and other books that subconsciously embedded within him a taste of directly experiencing God through the process of negation.
After ordaining as a monk, Merton was interested only in Catholicism for many years and nothing else, but little by little, as he became older, and after reading such authors as St. John of the Cross and Meister Eckhart, he began to become increasingly interested in mysticism, or a direct experience of God.
Merton then began to understand the universal nature of mysticism, and that Buddhism, especially, addressed mysticism more clearly than Christianity did regarding how to understand it, and more importantly provided a non-religious method to make a fundamental change in one’s life. This attracted him to Zen, and eventually he co-authored “Zen and the Birds of Appetite” with D. T. Suzuki which uniquely spelled out the similarities of Buddhism and Christianity at deeper, mystical levels. Merton began to explore universal spiritual truth within the structure of his Catholic faith.
Kiko the cat and mindfulness
My cat died today. His name was Kiko.
As I was leaving for work, I noticed Kiko was sleeping on the driveway blocking my exit. I stopped the car and walked over to him yelling “kiko”. I knew something was wrong when he did not respond and as I inched closer I could see he had died.
Four hours earlier, Kiko was alive and purring waiting for his morning meal which he never seemed to finish. What was once part of my life was gone forever with no warning or goodbyes.
I feel a deep sense of sadness because Kiko was a great pet and companion- friendly, affectionate and smart.
Ten years ago I walked into a Petsmart and adopted this little orange tabby from the humane society. I was told Kiko’s mother had been hit by a car and he was raised by an old lady who could no longer care for him. This did not surprise me since he was so friendly and loved to be held. I think I had one of the few cats who thought he was a dog and would fetch the little toy mice I would throw. Kiko would reluctantly drop the mouse at my feet for another round before getting bored with the whole thing.
Did I take him for granted? Yes. Over the years, he almost became invisible in my daily rush to and from work. My only interactions seemed to occur when I would feed him or check on his water.
Our connections to others and the universe-Jill Bolte Taylor
I recently saw this video on TED and wanted to share it with anyone who has not already seen it.
Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroscientist, suffers a stroke and has a transcendent experience that causes her to reevaluate her awareness and connections to the world and universe. I think many meditators try to achieve the “awareness” that she experienced as a result of her stroke.
The Key to Genuine Happiness by Jim DeSantis
There are many people who are facing the same circumstances as you but they live fascinating and wonderful lives. How did their lives become so adorably sweet? How do they manage to laugh and play despite their circumstances?
The key to maintaining a happy attitude, no matter the circumstances, is simple. You’ve heard it said – “Love yourself, first.” That’s true enough but it’s not the answer to our question. No, the answer is – “Like you, first.” That’s right – Like You! Be your best friend.
Your real life best friend likes who you are right now with all your imperfections, quirks, and circumstances. For true happiness, you must become your best friend before you can begin to love yourself. Loving yourself means not doing things that will hurt you in some way. You’ll never get me bungee jumping or skydiving because I love this body I live in!
You may also have heard it said – “loving means accepting.” Change this to – “liking means accepting.” To like yourself, and others, means to realize that we are not perfect beings. You will never be perfect no matter how long you walk this earth. No one living today are perfect. No, not anyone!
Mind machine review-To entrain or entertain?
I recently decided to purchase two mind machine AVS (Audio Visual Stimulation) devices which are basically light and sound generators that alter your brainwave states through entrainment. Why do this? Some studies show that altering your brainwave state may help decrease anxiety, pain, depression and even help with ADD and memory tasks.
In a nutshell, our brain operates at different frequencies throughout the day depending on what we are doing or thinking. (see graph on left, click to enlarge)
When we are wide awake and concentrating we are operating in Beta and as we relax our brain waves shift to a slower Alpha state. Then next lower state ,Theta, usually occurs when we are ideating or day dreaming followed by Delta which is the sleep and dreaming state. Finally, When we when we are in a deep dreamless state our brains are operating in Sub-Delta.
The mind machines in this comparison are designed to induce the desired brainwave state using pulsing tones and flashing lights which cause our brain to sync or entrain to the frequency of the chosen brainwave state.
